Conversation’s with my three year old.

Her: Me no like water, me want squash

Me: But water is very good for you. 

Her: No it’s disgusting.

Me: Do you want a drink or not?

Her: I want squash.

Me: You’re not having squash, you can have water if you’re thirsty.

Her: I want ‘loclate’ (chocolate)

Me: We’re going to have dinner first, you can have something ‘naughty’ after if you eat it all up!

Her: Me no like dinner, it’s disgusting.

Her: I want ‘loclate’ (chocolate); and squash.

Me: Right if you eat your dinner afterwards you can have some chocolate and a very weak squash.

Winner: The three year old.


Me: Right let’s go and wash your hands and do your teeth.

Her: My want to do it.

Me: Yes you can do it.

Her: But I want to do it.

Me: I know; you can do it, you can wash your hands yourself and clean your teeth; like a big girl!


Me: Come on then let’s get your step out.  I don’t know why you’re getting cross.

Her: Me no like Mummy; you an idiot.

Me: Don’t call Mummy an idiot that’s very rude; get on the step right now.

Her: My sorry.

Me: What are you sorry for?

Her: My want ‘loclate’.

Me: No it’s time for bed you need to do your teeth or they’ll go brown.

Her: My want to do it.

Me: Okay, get on the step quickly and I’ll get your toothbrush.

Her: MY WANT TO DO IT; idiot, shut up Mummy Idiot.

Me: Stop being rude

Winner: Nobody wins but I do die a little inside…


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