1. I’ve poo’ed.
2. I want a wee-wee.
3. I want my Daddy.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I hate fruit.
6. I hate you.
7. I want to live with Granma
8. That lady is fat.
9. That lady smells.
10. I’ve swallowed a coin.
Top Ten Most Annoying Things your best friend can say…
1. I’m tee-total.
2. I’ve joined the gym.
3. I’m predominantly macrobiotic vegan these days.
4. No bread for me; I’m gluten-free and local organic only now!
5. Sorry I’m off bitching; you really never know what someone’s going through until you’ve walked in their shoes.
6. I’m met someone.
7. Really? Shame I get on really well with your arch nemesis in fact we’re going to Hot Yoga together tomorrow after a couple of cheeky shots of Aloe Vera juice!
8. You’re looking at the latest representative for Forever Living products; I’ve put you down to host a party.
9. I’ll pass on those Brownies thanks; I’m off refined sugar and don’t think I don’t know there’s cannabis in them.
10. Do you have any de-caff?
Top Ten Most Annoying Things your partner can say…
1. I’ve hurt my back.
2. Fancy jumping up and down on my knob?
3. I’m just looking at the results.
4. Why what did you want to look at? (after requesting the remote control…).
5. There’s nothing on. (whilst watching the football).
6. I’ll be late home (way after you’ve done absolutely everything and the kids are in bed).
7. Any chance of a blowjob (it’s not going to suck itself…).
8. Just dropping the kids off at the pool (Just as you’ve got in the bath).
9. Bloody hell; pasta again.
10. I’m leaving early today love (way before the kids have got up and absolutely fucking everything needs doing and despite the fact you’ve got to get yourself ready, all their shit together and drop them off at two different places and still get into work by 9:30am preferably without crying this time…).