The Viewing.


De-clutter; obvious I know.  I find the quickest and best way to achieve this is the ‘sweep’ method.  Grab a box or laundry basket in one hand then spread your other arm as wide as it will go then sweep across a surface unceremoniously dumping everything into the receptical.  Take to the boot of your car and offload.  Do this several times until all clutter is now in a pile/heap in the car then take a picnic blanket and drape over the top. 

Now clean; yesterday’s socks are good for this simply run them over each surface and watch it sparkle.  Toilets simply flush and close the lid; there’s no need for a potential buyer to lift it.  Add a cheap pot-plant to each room and secrete cotton balls soaked in fabric conditioner behind your radiators then put the heating on. Coat every fabric surface in your home with ‘Fabreze’, plump cushions and pop a couple of ‘part-baked’ rolls in the oven.

Ignore the outside because whilst you’re inside you can’t actually see it therefore it doesn’t exist.  Then wait for the buyer to arrive.  Greet them warmly; a hug, bottom squeeze that sort of thing.  Kick off with a joke:

Why did the ‘…insert their surname here’ decide to buy our house?  Because we threatened to ‘key’ their car and kill their family pet!!  You’re kidding of course but it really helps to connect with your potential buyer.

Now  they’re warmed up, walk them through the house quickly; physically turning them to view things of interest, a few spins and a tumbler of ‘apple juice’ (hard-core cider) and then send them on their way.  If this doesn’t seal the deal or at least get you an offer then my tried and tested method will need some revision!

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