11 Riveting Facts…About Me!

I have no second name…I know, how bloody lazy. My sister does…

My feet are smaller than a size 3, flat and thin.  A bit like a Dover Sole…but less smelly.

I have the hands of a very old lady; a lady who has spent her life deep-frying stuff and digging holes.  Like a vacuum-packed version of a normal women’s hands. 

There are 22 years between the birth of my first child and my last; I shit you not. Who knew a womb could function for that long?

I once lived in a caravan for 18 months.  I became very au fait with the life-cycle of an earwig.  Well versed in staring at the breeze-block it was resting upon of a windy night and asking God to spare my life.  And having a full-body wash with a bowl of tepid water, a flannel and the family ‘soap on a rope’.

I was once a model; having a very successful career spanning just one gig in the village hall where I was ‘forced’ to walk the catwalk in a mustard and brown bikini. I was twelve, quite advanced developmentally and definitely not ‘prepared’ for swimwear.

My first perm took place in the late eighties and resulted in me looking like a pale Rusty Lee.

I’ve never gone blonde; well not above the waist anyway.  And that was nothing to be proud of let me tell you…

I’ve been ‘attuned’ to give Reiki…I can assure you if I lay hands upon you; you will feel something…over the years I’ve devised my own version which involves a Creme Egg. This has revolutionised my practice and only recently I cured a friend of diabetes! I say cured, it got her over a ‘hypo’…

I play the piano (ish) and many years ago composed the most incredible piece of music…turned out it was ‘Earth Song’ by Michael Jackson but I prefer to focus on the positives…

I won a robotics-dance competition in a sweaty marque on the village Vicars lawn once…after a glorious day receiving a rosette for my dog Lucys’s ‘waggiest tail’ and winning a box of biscuits in the Tombola! I can honestly say that to-date I’ve never eclipsed those dizzy heights!

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