My supreme disappointment with Twitter could be defined by a hard foot-stamp, churlish eye-roll and tightly folded arms. I know, I know; what did I expect? My first foray into this hard-driven, ‘you follow me; I’ll follow you’ world of incessant rambling, responding and ‘retweeting’ in a vain attempt to encourage followers and gain an online presence. To be fair I only joined in order to ‘try’ and create a buzz around my writing through a Blog; which I began purely to introduce my style of writing to the world in readiness for me launching my finished novel. Let’s just say the response I’ve received has been underwhelming; like comparing a flaccid penis and a rhino’s horn.
I’ve tried to ‘play the game’ but when doing so I seem to lose the thread of my real life and a vulture of self-loathing then crawls onto my shoulder judging me as I spend every spare minute ruining my jaw line and posture by staring at my bloody phone. I’ve been followed and un-followed by the same person within the passing of a fart. I’ve had literally no interest in my Blog; barely a ‘retweet’ and the most interest I’ve had to-date was in response to a ‘real’ Author’s funny picture on which I posted a throw away comment. To say it’s been disappointing is the biggest understatement in my life since being told I have one leg 1 centimetre shorter than the other and will always have one puny calve and an odd gait in heels.
The only interest in my Blog has come from Facebook which is similar to everyone in your family telling you you’re fucking ace. I’m grateful obviously. I’m happy that at least some of my written efforts are being appreciated and enjoyed; but the dream is to make a job of this weird world. A world in which I spend the greater part of my day tippy-tapping at my computer and showering the world with my creative juices…!
So what’s next? Might I have to do boring research, marketing and collating information to fix my Twitter conundrum rather than unravelling all the odd shit in my brain and formulating witty tomes to amuse and bring joy?! I’m not good at that; being studious, comparing advice, following words in the right order to formulate a favourable outcome. That’s why I’m a writer! Fuck it; there I’ve said it. I am a bloody writer because I am writing. And because there are those treasured few who are reading it. And I thank them; for taking the time to indulge my rambling and increase my WordPress stats!
So Twitter can potentially twat off.
“Oh okay; I shall give you one last chance, I’ll make one last ditch attempt at being invited into the hallows of your mass-followed writers then I’m buggering off. Be warned. I mean it; no I’m not ‘shitting you’. “
That’s Twitter told…