The Residential Visit.


She’s only 7 for the love of God; is she really ready for a 2-day away fixture?  And more importantly; are they ready for her??


So the very nearly 8 year old will be boarding a coach tomorrow morning, a coach bound for Condover; that’s right only approximately 4 miles away from the school but still I’m planning a small cry.


I’ve done my bit; there’s been extensive shopping, literally everything is new including knick-knacks and Jim Jams. A first-class wash kit has been collated and put together by me, I’ve covered every weather possibility with both beanie and sun hat, gloves and sunscreen.  Now for the fun bit.  This evening I must spend time rolling, folding, squidging, squashing, heaving and squeezing the whole shebang into her new rucksack.  A rucksack that has been sitting on the side mocking me since it’s purchase on Saturday.  The rucksack I was so very sure was easily big enough on Saturday.  The one she carried on her back round the shop, happily modelling it and extolling how perfectly purple it was.  The one I’d decided was more than big enough as she had to carry it and be responsible for it’s contents.  What the hell was I thinking?  It’s too fucking small; I’ll be lucky to get her knickers and a toothbrush in it!


Moving on; let’s imagine for a moment that with God’s will behind me and my tenacious ‘this is fricking happening’ attitude in full flow I’ve managed to get everything into the teeny-tiny rucksack; I will then have to deal with her absence.  Her massive voice at full volume will be missing for two days.  How will I cope with the silence?  Will it kick off my tinnitus and latent anxiety dragon?  No…I’ll be fine; why would my nearly 8 year old being away from home, responsible for all her own things, kayaking, climbing and generally running amok unhindered be of concern to this totally relaxed parent?  FUUUUUCKKKKKKKK……………


Maybe this will be the making of her? She’ll grow into the 8 year old she’ll be in 2 weeks and we’ll be done with ‘hairtrums’, back chat, general rudeness and full-on ‘snotfests’ that appear from nowhere drain the life force from those within ear shot then disappear like Hurricane Joe Bloggs.  Perhaps the storm clouds of frustration and ‘it’s not fair’s’ will pass and leave us with a blue-sky version of my little one…’oh look, there’s pig; right there in the sky, with wings…’


There’ll be an update.  Pray for her, for those tasked with ‘controlling’; I mean looking after her and for me…sitting at home not quite knowing what to do with myself and spending way too long looking at her empty bed and sniffing her pillow…oh hang on!  The toddler will still be there; bringing up the rear with her Barbie banter and ‘you’re ruining my life’s’…in that case I’ll be fine, she’ll be fine…we’ll all be fine…is that a dragon I hear??????



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