Dear God life is complex these days.
And apparently everyone is responsible for everyone and nobody is really responsible for themselves.
And if someone says they’re fine, they might not be and we should all be talking about everything with everyone in case we miss something.
And we’re all endlessly sharing everything about ourselves; right down to our inner most thoughts/demons/fears and we should want to listen to everyone else’s.
Though we can’t be sure that smiles are genuine or ‘I’m okay’s’ are real ‘okay’s’ and that’s okay because ‘it’s okay to not be okay’ even if you’re not okay enough to be honest about how okay you really are. And all of this is leading to a melting pot of emotions spilling over like the Magic bloody porridge pot and we’re all going to get burned…it’s almost catching.
How do I really feel? Am I being honest with myself?
Is my friend whose laughing like a loon and is sporting a perfect eyebrow today whilst regaling me with her intention to try the Spicy chicken wrap at McDonalds (don’t it’ll burn your face off) actually planning her own demise?
And how often do I ask her if she’s really okay before she is not longer okay and is in fact really pissed off with me for being a Debbie Downer? (Apologies to all the Debbie’s out there; I realise you could sue me for defamation of character on account of name/emotion slang association but fuck it I’m on a roll).
At this point in life we’re all fearful and it’s getting worse.
There’s enough genuine fears; an actual sociopath is the President of the US, our NHS is being administered ‘end of life’ drugs as we speak and you can’t visit parts of sleepy Wiltshire for fear of being poisoned by Russian henchmen.
And we have to censor literally everything that comes out of our mouth for fear of offending someone.
Gender is complex. Sexual preference is complex.
What we eat is beyond complex, political and is now touted as one of the leading contenders for a climate catastrophe.
We should all be supporting minorities; even though there are now a trillion of them rather than 3 or 4 back in the late eighties. And each of these minorities are now being handled with kid-gloves and backed by some agency set-up or other and are apparently more deserving of benefits and rights than the rest of the world who came before it was fashionable to take each passing whim and make it a life choice.
I’m not talking about the clear-cut cases. The world certainly has to evolve and there have been well needed changes in the way it’s now deemed appropriate to behave. But it’s the frilly offshoots I’m struggling with. And the lack of understanding from those staunchly determined to be some standalone. Those micro-versions who endlessly complain even if we mistakenly say something that might upset their delicate sensibility. Not to mention the sense of injustice and lack of fairness in the way us ‘normal’ folk are now treated in comparison.
Perhaps playing by the rules is now outdated?
Should I continue to take responsibility for my actions and health (that’s right, don’t make me responsible for your obesity, smoking habits or any obscure and expensive treatments you might require to become a Unicorn whilst some are waiting an inordinate length of time for a mammogram)?
Continue working, paying my taxes and not engaging in risky behaviour?
You know the balanced life I was brought up to cultivate; where I appreciate that I can’t have it all and I don’t feel the need to rebel, sue someone or make it my life’s work to convert the masses or make someone pay for my need to be ‘different’.
Yes, I get it that for some they can’t help being different. But they will also have to understand that different is what they are, and as such will have to adapt; though fully entitled to be who they are; live the way they wish, they must also stand in line to wait for help with the rest of us.
To those who have come to this Country to seek asylum. You are welcome but you also must adapt and play by the rules of this Country. You must work and pay taxes and then you’ll be entitled to the benefits available. I don’t agree with Burkha’s or other forms of dress that ‘hide’ you. You should be as visible as anyone else. And you have absolutely no right to oppose other members of our society’s way of life; if you’re offended turn away. If you can’t live with it. Move on.
To travellers; I applaud you keeping to the traditions of your Romany ancestors but have some respect for others. The land you set-up upon, the rubbish you produce, the way you appear to swoop in and create havoc then feel aggrieved that you’re less than welcome.
To religious groups; there is room for all. Stop being offended by each other; you’ve each no more right to practice than the other. Your Gods are your own; if you had sufficient faith in them you’d not be threatened by anyone else’s.
Also if I’m to believe you all there must be more than one God, just sayin…
To the beauty industry; no matter how much you’re forced to peddle that everyone is beautiful there will always be those who are more so. Model’s are such for a reason. Yes I’m very glad to see more realistic shapes for size appropriate clothing, I’m all for choice but let’s get a grip of the fact that professional photo’s of a short, dumpy girl with thin hair and a squint wearing a couture gown is not going to sell it. For the love of God (whoever’s I couldn’t care less) let’s all ingest a healthy dose of reality.
To everyone; you can’t be everything.
There are limitations; we’re all subject to them. Genetics has made you a certain way; men are generally physically stronger than women; sorry that’s a fact. Only women can have babies. End of.
Some people are intelligent, others creative, some can sing or dance and though dedication, training and the luck of the bloody draw can help to achieve this though not everyone can be everything.
What you can be is kind.
You can be responsible for your actions and supportive of your fellow man. You can sample all life has to offer yet be introspective enough to decide you’re not good at something and give it up; without reproach, guilt or blaming society at large for conspiring against you.
“It’s not fair that I’m not allowed to make an album because I’m tone deaf, have a lisp and have no sense of timing; I’m being discriminated against.”
Let’s bring back pride.
And understanding, acceptance; maybe even a bit of making do!
Just be the best you can be. And recycle, reduce your consumption of meat, plastic and consumerism…and that’s all encapsulated in ‘be kind’, to those you meet and the planet upon which you reside. And to yourself.
Finally post #mentalhealthday it is indeed good to talk; though we’re not responsible for everyone’s mental health.
What we are however responsible for is how we behave and it’s impact on those around us. #itsokaytonotbeokay #bekind